I am 21, and a very calm & gentle guy. I usually distance myself from an ugly situation. But sometimes, the flood gates just open. This happened a couple of months back.
Near the EcoSpace signal, I got cut off by a Skoda driving very rashly. The driver of the Skoda almost drove me off the road into the road divider. I generally ignore such things and drive on, since in Bangalore it is normal. But that day I don't know what happened to me.
I overtook the car, and blocked him off. My friend was with me & she tried to stop me from confronting him. But I got out and gestured the other driver to come out. He started arguing that he had switched on the indicators, and hence he was right (in driving me off the road). I was angry, shaking, and infuriated. And what happened next is something I wish I had not done. I opened the boot of my car and took out the car jack. And banged the car jack on the Skoda’s bonnet. TWICE. The driver was scared to death. Since the driver’s window was open, I was about to use car jack to bash into driver's face when I saw he had two children (aged about 5 and 9 years) in the back seat.
I stood there confused & angry at myself. The driver of the Skoda sped off as if he had escaped death. I walked back slowly to my car. That incident changed me forever. I still cannot forget the fear I saw on the driver's face and his 2 kids. And my friend was aghast. She couldn't believe what I had just done, because she'd never really seen me do anything like this before. I felt miserable for days after this incident.
How do you manage to be cool in various situations? Some situations can be challenging, as the one above was. They can cause us to lose control, feel angry, disturbed and then react as a result. The problem with this behavior is that we are giving away our control to the other person. Keeping control and staying calm is especially important in times of disagreement, stress & anger. We could say or do anything at a time like this and be completely unaware of it until later when the repercussions would have to be considered. For eg. The driver could have been carrying a firearm & might as well have shot me if he thought that his life was in danger. The situation could have turned into a legal problem if the driver wanted to press charges, since I damaged his vehicle & threatened him with bodily harm.
What should you do to remain calm in tough situations? Assess the situation and try to see the bigger picture. Had I been willing to let go of this & understand why the driver cut me off, this would have never happened. Do not react at that instant. If you have to answer someone, take a moment to think about it. Nowadays, if I am angry at someone/something, I just excuse myself & go to the powder room. It calms me down & gives me more time to react. Discussion, negotiation and compromise can follow if you stay calm, since this allows other to stay calm too. The Skoda's driver was arguing with me but in a mild manner. Had I also been more calm, this would never have happened. Relationships remain intact and even improve when people prove that they can work together respectfully through rough situations and achieve a sensible result. Some wise man once said that holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
I read this anecdote somewhere, though i can't seem to remember it.
Near the EcoSpace signal, I got cut off by a Skoda driving very rashly. The driver of the Skoda almost drove me off the road into the road divider. I generally ignore such things and drive on, since in Bangalore it is normal. But that day I don't know what happened to me.
I overtook the car, and blocked him off. My friend was with me & she tried to stop me from confronting him. But I got out and gestured the other driver to come out. He started arguing that he had switched on the indicators, and hence he was right (in driving me off the road). I was angry, shaking, and infuriated. And what happened next is something I wish I had not done. I opened the boot of my car and took out the car jack. And banged the car jack on the Skoda’s bonnet. TWICE. The driver was scared to death. Since the driver’s window was open, I was about to use car jack to bash into driver's face when I saw he had two children (aged about 5 and 9 years) in the back seat.
I stood there confused & angry at myself. The driver of the Skoda sped off as if he had escaped death. I walked back slowly to my car. That incident changed me forever. I still cannot forget the fear I saw on the driver's face and his 2 kids. And my friend was aghast. She couldn't believe what I had just done, because she'd never really seen me do anything like this before. I felt miserable for days after this incident.
How do you manage to be cool in various situations? Some situations can be challenging, as the one above was. They can cause us to lose control, feel angry, disturbed and then react as a result. The problem with this behavior is that we are giving away our control to the other person. Keeping control and staying calm is especially important in times of disagreement, stress & anger. We could say or do anything at a time like this and be completely unaware of it until later when the repercussions would have to be considered. For eg. The driver could have been carrying a firearm & might as well have shot me if he thought that his life was in danger. The situation could have turned into a legal problem if the driver wanted to press charges, since I damaged his vehicle & threatened him with bodily harm.
What should you do to remain calm in tough situations? Assess the situation and try to see the bigger picture. Had I been willing to let go of this & understand why the driver cut me off, this would have never happened. Do not react at that instant. If you have to answer someone, take a moment to think about it. Nowadays, if I am angry at someone/something, I just excuse myself & go to the powder room. It calms me down & gives me more time to react. Discussion, negotiation and compromise can follow if you stay calm, since this allows other to stay calm too. The Skoda's driver was arguing with me but in a mild manner. Had I also been more calm, this would never have happened. Relationships remain intact and even improve when people prove that they can work together respectfully through rough situations and achieve a sensible result. Some wise man once said that holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
I read this anecdote somewhere, though i can't seem to remember it.
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’ This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so…Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
