"You have an attitude."
A friend told me this when I was about 18. I'm almost 22 now. He elaborated by saying that my personality carries a huge lack of humility. The things I would say or do, in most cases, was very off-putting to a majority of people. I always had a better story after someone finished theirs. I was full of knowledge on any subject, or whatever opinion I had on the matter was always superior and correct. My way of doing things was the best way. I appeared ungrateful, selfish, and pompous. And I had no clue whatsoever.
I'll never forget that conversation and the paradigm shift my brain experienced that day. Once I was aware of this attitude I started thinking about my relationships and the environment I created because of my general assholery and douchebaggedness. I actually sunk into depression for a short time, realizing the way I had treated people and taken them for granted. Over a few years I slowly learned so many things about myself and others. I learned how to listen. To enjoy myself in groups and not need to be the focus of the group. To be compassionate and empathetic. To give advice only when asked, or out of heartfelt concern or genuine worry. To put others first when it counts. To show up. To be a friend instead of a competitor. I've learned many other things from that statement, too many to list.
It's incredible to me how I'm still learning. I think we all are and no one really has it figured out. I know I don't. But I'll never forget how that one small statement had/has a long term effect on me.
A friend told me this when I was about 18. I'm almost 22 now. He elaborated by saying that my personality carries a huge lack of humility. The things I would say or do, in most cases, was very off-putting to a majority of people. I always had a better story after someone finished theirs. I was full of knowledge on any subject, or whatever opinion I had on the matter was always superior and correct. My way of doing things was the best way. I appeared ungrateful, selfish, and pompous. And I had no clue whatsoever.
I'll never forget that conversation and the paradigm shift my brain experienced that day. Once I was aware of this attitude I started thinking about my relationships and the environment I created because of my general assholery and douchebaggedness. I actually sunk into depression for a short time, realizing the way I had treated people and taken them for granted. Over a few years I slowly learned so many things about myself and others. I learned how to listen. To enjoy myself in groups and not need to be the focus of the group. To be compassionate and empathetic. To give advice only when asked, or out of heartfelt concern or genuine worry. To put others first when it counts. To show up. To be a friend instead of a competitor. I've learned many other things from that statement, too many to list.
It's incredible to me how I'm still learning. I think we all are and no one really has it figured out. I know I don't. But I'll never forget how that one small statement had/has a long term effect on me.
